HOLEYBALONEY

Why can’t they understand?

In the case of the Repeal of Section 377A, homosexuals are NOT campaigning for the rights to rule the country. They are not campaigning for the right to have same-sex marriages. They are just campaigning for the right to maintain privacy behind doors, and the right to do what they please without breaking the law.

When I read Mr Ho Kwon Ping’s article on TODAYonline yesterday, I was pleased to see the Chairman of Mediacorp stand up for what he believes in, to the extent of putting it up on national papers, though it isn’t The Straits Times. I applaud but honestly, I don’t think anyone in the rainbow club will believe that it will change anything.

Today, however, I came across this other article written in response to Mr Ho’s commentary. And with all due respect, I’m afraid I have to say, this is something about Christianity I don’t understand. I thought God teaches us to love all brothers and sisters unconditionally? That was what I was taught in 10 years of convent education. Of course, my education is far from the tip of the iceberg. But that was one consistent teaching I was given for 10 whole years of my primary to secondary life. Isn’t this prejudice & discriminatory? I don’t remember the Ten Commandments having anti-homosexuality in it. But of course, I have only wikipedia and the movie to guide me. Please, correct me if I’m wrong. I’m not well versed in Bible studies. Anyway, before I digress further, the point of this post is NOT about Christianity & homosexuality.

Mr Anton Chan has it all wrong. And I’m sure he’s not alone. Singaporeans have become so paranoid that they seem to think that everything that goes against their perception of normal is dangerous. Then again, philosophically speaking, what is normality? The Merriam Webster dictionary explains normal as b: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern. Normality is relative.

What’s next? Same sex marriages?
Letter from Anton Chan

MR HO Kwon Ping is wrong to propose the acceptance of gays into Singapore society because accepting a gay lifestyle would have a tremendous impact on society as a whole in terms of religious beliefs, social well-being and families.

Being homosexual isn’t a lifestyle. Taking on a certain lifestyle means you have a choice. You pick & choose what type of actions you’d like to adopt. Being sporty is a lifestyle; clubbing is a lifestyle. Homosexuality is not. It’s a sexual orientation. You don’t pick & choose who you decide to fall in love with. Not unless you live in the past where nobody marries for love, only convenience. Yes, there are choices made. A choice of accepting yourself or not. That is the only choice to be made.

As a Christian, I oppose legalising a gay lifestyle in Singapore because it’s against my beliefs. As a father of three teenagers, I care because I don’t want my children to be affected by such a lifestyle.

Honestly, if your kid is gay, he’s gay. No matter whether you expose him to such a ‘lifestyle’ or not. If he is being oppressed to be straight, he’s going to suffer real pain inside. Furthermore you are opposing ‘legalising a gay lifestyle’ but we are for the legalising of an act, which is mutally consented between two adult males.

Imagine if we allow the acceptance of such a lifestyle in Singapore. What next? Legalise same sex marriages? Legalise adoption of children for gays?

Ah… I dont understand this line of thought. So, Belgium, Canada, Norway, South Africa, Spain, Massachusetts and California are all what.. beneath everyone else? Just because they legalise same-sex marriages? The last I know, Canada is a great place to live in.

Where are we as a socially-conservative society heading towards?

Erm… Acceptance of all as one? Liberalisation?

Soon gays will claim the right for social acceptance in all areas including education, welfare et cetera. What effect will this have on the next generation of children and parents who wish that their children will grow up normally and produce children in the normal course of their being?

In the first place, all Singapore citizens have the right in all areas such as education, welfare etc. So if I read this right, you’re suggesting that homosexuals are not supposed to be entitled to benefits that are given to ALL citizens? So they are, in your books, third-class ‘citizens’? Now I’m starting to get the picture. Also, your point of ‘produce children in the normal course of their being’ isn’t standing much. Heterosexuals are not having kids anyway, so what’s the fuss? If heterosexuals aren’t having kids and homosexuals would love to adopt one, hey! Good for the country’s population growth! 1 for the gays!

The only strong contention in Mr Ho’s proposal is the so-called gay leading edge in the “creative class”. Doesn’t our society have many other people to develop and nurture? Why are we so eager to promote creative class talent in Singapore? So that we can become a more tolerant society to accept whatever lifestyle these bring? Definitely no.

‘Why are we so eager to promote creative class talent in Singapore?’ I think that’s because if otherwise, Singaporeans will be nothing but robots toiling away at work. Your national day parade won’t look so grand & well put together, you won’t have performances to watch, no designers, no artists, no musicians. No Dick Lee! Oh then again, we could always import foreign talent, to put together our national day parade.

I would like to borrow a similar argument by Attorney-General Walter Woon regarding the Human Organ Transplant Act (Hota). In “None above the law” (Sept 8), he said: “If Dr Lee (Wei Ling) disagrees with Hota, she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended … But until Parliament amends or repeals the Hota and the Oaths and Declarations Act, they remain the law of Singapore.”

If anyone disagrees with the law for gays as enacted by Parliament, he/she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended … But until Parliament amends or repeals the law of Singapore for gays, it remains the law of Singapore.

The thing is, the law is quite ridiculous if you don’t enforce it. What’s the point of having a law that is in black & white, yet you tell everyone in the country that you will not be prosecuting the offenders? It’s like saying rape is illegal yet people are free to do it. So why is it illegal in the first place?

It’s hypocritical to have a law to make conservatives happy, and turn around and tell those affect that they will not be prosecuted, so please continue to bring back glory for the country. Please continue to make waves in the international scene. Singapore wants to be number 1 in everything, but no, we will not repeal Section 377a. As the government, they should be doing what they preach. Singapore is conservative? Okay fine. Then prosecute all who do not abide by the law and stick to it. Don’t want to encroach on their privacy so will not prosecute? Then don’t even have this law in the first place. What a cognitively dissonant country we live in. *Sigh*

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Why we are not getting married

Though I object the idea of pre-arranged marriages, I do share the viewpoint of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Long on the connection between falling birth-rates in Singapore and  the independence of women here. With reference to the National Day Rally last night and the article found on TODAYonline.

Being one of the “modern-day woman”, I get equally pissed off when some men are still harbouring that primitive thought of women having to be submissive and latch on to the every word of men, as if they are words of God. Unfortunately, times have changed and quite a bit it has. Though such women still exist, it is small in percentage and such wonderful women would have been snapped up in an instant. I personally believe that due to such mentality, marriages nowadays hardly last. It’s a fundamental dissonance in the essence of marriage in the eyes of the 2 most important parties, the husband and wife. If this dissonance is not addressed right from the beginning, no marriage will last. And when everybody else sees that marriages doesn’t last anyway, why would anyone jump into something that is, to them, bound to fall apart?

Marriage, to me, is like closing a deal. Both parties have to list out what they want through this marriage and what is their ‘motive’ for wanting to get married. No lofty ideals, no romantic notions. Cold, hard realistic views. If a match is found possible, then the marriage can happen and will last. Of course, such calculating behaviour is not going to be how it will happen. In relationships, we think using our hearts, never our heads. Unfortunately.

Of course, independence and career is not the only deterent for me in terms of getting married, and having kids for that matter. It is also the cost involved in all of these actions. Imagine, to get married, you’ve got to throw a proper Chinese wedding DINNER. That in itself will set you back tens of thousands dollars. Don’t even think about depending on the ang paos you get in return. I’ve seen Singaporeans who prepare a S$80 ang pao and bring a family of four. So distasteful. Worse still, these people are usually your relatives. Or distant relatives. Or friends of your parents. So unless you hold a dinner solely for your friends, it’s not going to cover. And the money spent is not just on F&B, there’s the gowns, the cake, the gifts, the tea ceremony, the bridesmaids gowns etc etc etc. On top of that, planning such an event is a major pain in the neck, having to really co-ordinate small minute details. If you hire a wedding planner, that’s another wad of cash down the drain. And there’s going to be the issue of both parties’ expectations of a wedding. That’s another headache to handle. And if not handled well, it’s the beginning of the end………

Kids, although cute at times, are a major cash suckers. During the 9 months that you carry them in you, there are already expenses incurred for medical fees as well as wardrobe costs… For the next 20 years after you give birth to them, you need thousands of dollars every single year to upkeep their well-being. Parents of older generations can still depend on their kids to take care of them when they get old, but in the future, I think this situation will change, ever so slightly. Old Folk’s Homes are increasingly being more accepted by my current generation, where more people have the mentality that they rather be in an old folk’s home than inconveniencing their kids. What with globalisation bringing the concept of privacy and personal space within the family closer to us, it won’t be surprising to me if there be an increasing number of people who’d prefer to check into an old folk’s home in future, me included. If I’m all alone that is. This probably sounds a little callous, but really, it’s not all about keeping the family line going. There are material concerns and realistic issues to deal with. So unless I have Victoria Beckham’s money, I don’t want a soccer team of kids.

That’s only touching on the ACTIONS of getting married & having babies. Another issue is FINDING the right person. With the competitiveness in the society now, it is not as easy as it seems to get to know new people. On paper and in theory, all one has to do is get out more often and engage in social activities. However, do not forget that meeting new people and socialising does sap energy out of you, and after a week of hard work, all you want to do is to meet your familiar circle of friends to hang out for drinks or a meal. Meeting new people and getting to know them from the beginning is something we do all the time at work, and after office hours, do we really want to expend some more energy to meet even more new people? Furthermore, it’s difficult to get close to, or intimate with co-workers. Office gossip is something that can potentially break any relationship, and where else do we spend most of our time? In the office of course. Not to mention, being in such a competitive environment, getting ahead in work can really take up quite a bit of your time, what with possible overtime and working on weekends.

Of course, all I have is my mouth and thoughts and no real solution. That’s why I’m a commoner and not a Member of Parliament… They are supposed to do the problem solving for us no? XD

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